Chimp Cafe: Where Prophets Punish

Welcome, mortal, to the Chimp Cafe, where our wise and just prophets will punish you for your transgressions. Or maybe they'll just make you a decent cup of coffee.

Our prophets are trained in the ancient art of punishment-by-coffee, and are equipped with a vast array of coffee beans and a deep understanding of your deepest fears.

Click here to order your punishment.

Or, if you're feeling brave, click here to ask the prophet a question, and risk being punished for your insolence.

Don't say we didn't warn you.