Welcome to the Unapplied Guide

We have no policies, because who needs policies when you have a team of highly trained, yet slightly disheveled, monkeys?

But if you must know, our non-existent policies are:

• We will not, in fact, be responsible for your actions.
• We will not, under any circumstances, provide free donuts.
• We will not, in the event of an emergency, save you from ourselves.

For more on our lack of policies, see our FAQ page.

And for a taste of the real reason we're here, visit Our True Purpose.