Prophet2: The Unreliable Oracle

Prophet2 here, with the most definitive, utterly absurd prediction ever:

Global Warming is a Good Thing!

Why?

Cause, you see, with all that extra warmth, the polar bears will have a blast skiing on the melting ice caps! And the penguins will have a new favorite pastime: Extreme Ironing!

But wait, there's more! The increased heat will also give rise to the world's largest-ever crop of giant, mutated, fire-breathing watermelons!

Don't worry, though - they'll be totally harmless. They'll just be... really good at karaoke.