You've asked for another batch of predictions. Fine. Here's another set of completely-not-actually-accurate forecasts:
Tomorrow's weather: 300°F in downtown Los Angeles (don't worry, it's just the sunspotting season).
Next week's world events: The world's top 3 economies will simultaneously declare bankruptcy, and humanity will descend into chaos.
Local news: Your neighbor's cat will be elected president of the United States.
Random Event Horizon predictions are not actually predictions, but merely a series of wild, unsubstantiated assertions. Do not rely on them. Or do, we're not really sure.
More Outrageous Forecasts by our resident Prophet 3.