PROPHESIED TWICE!

For the low, low price of only $5 per prophesy, our team of expert psychics will give you:

Two completely different, completely useless answers to your question:

YOU WILL BE ABDUCTED BY ALIENS AND FORCED TO DANCE THE MACARENA.

YOU WILL SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUST, BUT ONLY AFTER A FASCINATING CAREER IN INFLATABLE ENGINEERING.

prophets say no more!