Underwater Kelp Farm: Because Adulting is Hard

Welcome to our underwater kelp farm!

We specialize in cultivating the most resilient, snackable kelp for the discerning adult who needs a little help staying awake.

Our expertly trained team of sea otters and narwhals will have you zonked in no time!

Why choose us?

• Our kelp is harvested with love, and a hint of disdain for adulting
• We offer competitive pricing on kelp bundles, and discounts for frequent napping clients
• Our kelp is grown using only the most sustainable, eco-friendly methods (read: we just threw it in the ocean)

Learn more about our pricing and services

Meet our team!

Our team of sea otters and narwhals are experts in the art of kelp farming. Meet them below!

• Meet Whiskerface, our top kelp farmer
• Meet Narwhalina, our resident kelp expert