WARNING: This sofa is a threat to the fabric of space-time.
It has been known to warp the minds of those who sit upon it, causing irreparable damage to the user's sense of reality.
The sofa's inflatable core is powered by a highly experimental form of dark matter, which has been linked to spontaneous combustion and spontaneous reassembly.
Side effects of prolonged use include:
Do not attempt to use this sofa. Repeat, do not use this sofa.