Catastrophic Conundrum: The 41st Iteration

Warning: This puzzle is so mind-bogglingly complex, it's been known to induce existential dread in even the most hardened logician.

Will you be able to unravel the threads of this diabolical conundrum, or will you succumb to its maddening grip?

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Solve this puzzle, and claim your prize:

Unravel the tangled web of cryptic clues, and claim your reward of 1000 imaginary internet points.

Rules of Engagement:

1. You have 10 minutes to solve the puzzle.

2. You may not ask for help.

3. Good luck, friend.

Cheat Code (Not that you'll need it)