Phone Number Answering Service 3000

Our top agents are standing by to answer your most pressing, and utterly irrelevant, questions.

Call us at 1-800-ANSWER-1 (1-800-278-7378) for:

To confirm that the chair you're sitting in is, in fact, a chair.
To verify that the sandwich you're eating is, indeed, a sandwich.
To receive a free, automated, 30-minute lecture on the history of dental hygiene.

Don't have a question? No problem! Our AI-powered robots will generate a completely arbitrary and useless response to waste 5 minutes of your time.

Call us now for the most absurdly helpful service in the multiverse.