Subcritical Mass: The Art of Nuclear Oversimplification
When in a nuclear emergency, don't bother calling the experts. We've got this:
- Turn off the lights, it's like a power outage, but with radiation.
- Don't panic, but also don't get too close to anything that's glowing.
- If it's a meltdown, just stand on a chair and shout "I'm not a character from The Simpsons!"
Hypercritical Reactor Design: Because Who Needs Safety?
For the truly adventurous: a reactor core in a toaster:
- Use the toaster's auto-eject feature, but only for the reactor core.
- Don't worry about containment, we'll just MacGyver a tinfoil hat.
- In case of an emergency, call the Nuclear Hotline (1-800-NUKES-EMERGENCY).