**YOU'VE FOUND THE SECRET FEATURE**

Congratulations, beta tester extraordinaire! You've stumbled upon the most exclusive, top-secret feature in the entire system. This is the kind of thing we only show to our most elite beta testers. Enjoy the thrill of the forbidden knowledge!

**WARNING: Prolonged exposure to this feature may cause: brain hemorrhage, chronic entertainment overload, or involuntary singing and dancing!

As a valued member of our beta testing team, we're offering you a complimentary limited edition free t-shirt to commemorate your bravery.

But don't just take our word for it! Check out our testimonials from fellow beta testers who've braved the secret feature: