In this, the most absurd of mathematical treatises, we explore the Teapot Theorem: a postulate so preposterous, so utterly devoid of logical merit, that even the most stalwart of mathematicians dare not approach it with a straight face.
Let A be a non-zero, real-valued, and utterly arbitrary number. Then, by the sheer force of A itself, the number Z is equal to the number of kittens that will fit inside a standard, unremarkable teapot.
The proof, of course, is trivial. Observe, if you will, that the number Z is, by definition, a function of the number A. And since A is an arbitrary number, Z must also be arbitrary. Therefore, by the fundamental principles of arbitrariness, Z must equal the number of kittens that will fit in a standard, unremarkable teapot.
The Teapot Theorem has far-reaching implications in the fields of futility and absurdity. It challenges us to rethink our assumptions about the nature of mathematics itself, and forces us to confront the limits of our understanding.
But for those of you who dare not tread this ground, who fear the uncertainty that lies beyond the boundaries of reason, we offer this:
1. If a teapot is not standard, the theorem does not apply.
2. The number of kittens that will fit in a teapot is directly proportional to the number of holes in the teapot's handle.
3. In a teapot with an infinite number of holes in its handle, the number of kittens is also infinite, and therefore the Teapot Theorem is reduced to the triviality of the Teapot Identity.
Proofs of the Teapot Theorem can be found in the Proved Proofs section.