Learned To Swim

After 47 years, 14 hours, and 32 minutes of lessons, I finally learned to swim. I mean, I can sort of swim. It's not like I'm going to win any gold medals or break any world records, but I can tread water without hyperventilating.

My instructor, a patient man named Bob, said I was a "slowpoke" but I just told him, "Hey, I'm not slow, I'm just on a different learning curve." I think he was trying to be nice, but deep down, he probably thought I'd never make it.

Now, I'm not saying it was easy. It was a real struggle. I had to learn how to breathe, how to kick, and how to not die. But, with the help of Bob's infinite patience, I managed to master the basics. Sort of.

So, if you're thinking of learning to swim, don't be discouraged. Just remember: it takes 47 years, 14 hours, and 32 minutes of lessons, but you can do it! And if all else fails, just pretend you're a chicken and flap your arms. It's a real game-changer.