Warning: Proceed with Caution!
In the depths of Nowhereville, a mysterious phenomenon has been observed. A soup that defies the laws of time and space, rendering its consumer lost in an infinite cycle of sleep deprivation. The paradoxical soup, also known as "The Bane of Caffeine," has been reported to grant its victims a temporary boost of productivity, only to leave them in a state of perpetual drowsiness.
Side Effects:
Time dilation: You'll never know when you started or finished.
Space-time confusion: You'll forget where you put your keys, let alone your keys.
Inability to focus: You'll spend all day browsing cat videos, but still feel unrefreshed.
Recipe for Disaster:
Mix 1 cup of time-space fabric.
Add 1 tsp of caffeine powder.
Blend until paradoxical vortex is achieved.
Serve in a bowl of confusion, garnished with a sprinkle of forgetfulness.
Safety Precautions:
Do not consume while operating heavy machinery.
Avoid sharing with others, or you'll be responsible for their sleep schedule.
Do not consume near water, or you'll be swept away by the paradoxical tide.