Knife Fighting for the Faint of Heart: A Guide to Not Being a Hero

A Comprehensive Resource for the Timid, the Tremulous, and the Generally Averse to Conflict

Are you tired of being the hero type? Do you want to learn how to defend yourself without actually putting any real effort into it?

We've got you covered. This guide is for those who want to learn the art of knife fighting, but without the actual risk of getting hurt or, you know, actually fighting.

Chapter 1: The Basics

The Fundamentals of Knife Fighting for the Faint

First and foremost, you need a knife. But not just any knife will do. It has to be a special kind of knife.

One that is specifically designed for the faint of heart, with a handle that is ergonomic, yet not so ergonomic that it gives you a cramp in your hand after 30 seconds of use.

We recommend the Blade of Shame, a knife with a handle so awkwardly designed that it will make you wonder why you even bothered.

This chapter will cover the basics of how to hold the knife, how to swing it, and how to generally not get too excited about it.

Chapter 2: The Art of Not Being a Hero

Advanced Techniques for the Truly Timid

Now that you have the basics down, it's time to learn how to actually defend yourself without really putting yourself in harm's way.

This chapter will cover how to use your surroundings to your advantage, how to distract your opponent with witty banter, and how to generally just pretend that you're not really fighting at all.

It's all about misdirection, folks. Misdirection, baby!

Want to learn more? Click on the link below to continue your journey:

Advanced Knife Fighting for the Faint of Heart