A Guide to Taming the Unpredictable Fury of the Butter Knife
Warning: Do not attempt this activity while intoxicated or with your eyes closed. We are not responsible for any injuries or destroyed kitchen tables.
For optimal juggling, select knives with a sturdy handle and a blade that's at least 3 inches long. Anything shorter will just be a hazard waiting to happen.
Also, make sure your knives are butter-knife-specific. Don't even think about using those fancy-p minimalist knives with the rounded tips. Those are just begging to slip out of your hands and into your neighbor's eyes.
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Hold the knives with a firm, yet delicate grip. You want to feel the blade's presence, but not be overwhelmed by its sharpness.
As you gain experience, you'll develop a more relaxed grip, but for now, just pretend you're trying to hold onto a greased-up eel.
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