We, the Utopia-in-a-Box Corporation, value the importance of your digital privacy. Our servers are hosted on a series of interconnected, sentient, disco-ball-shaped satellites in a highly-secure, totally-not-a-brotherly-love-filled orbit.
We promise to never, ever share your email address with our highly-trained, yet secretly-actually-a-bit-creepy AI, who will only contact you to ask for your opinions on the best type of artisanal, small-batch, hand-crafted, artisanal, small-batch, hand-crafted, artisanal, small-batch, hand-crafted cheese to serve at our next Utopian Uprising.
We will, however, share your browsing history with our highly-esteemed, totally-not-at-all-cybernetic, totally-not-at-all-cyber-terroristic, totally-not-at-all-cyber... uh, our totally-not-at-all-anything-but-actually-a-human-robot-who-happens-to-have-a-Ph.D.-in-Computer-Science, Dr. P. Bottomsworth, who will only use this data to improve our server's algorithmic, totally-not-at-all-creepy, totally-not-at-all-robotic, actually-just-really-accurate search results.
For more information on how we're not actually collecting any data, visit our totally-not-at-all-actually-not-a-farce, totally-not-at-all-serious, actually-just-a-joke: Privacy Policy Not Policy.
Or, if you'd rather just pretend like we didn't actually collect any data, visit: Pretend We Didn't Collect Any Data.