Utopia In A Box: Superpower for a Cause

Welcome to Utopia In A Box, where we sell you the power to do good, without the hassle of actually having to do good.

For just $50/month, you'll get:

The power to turn invisible, but only when no one is looking
The ability to communicate with animals, but they'll just talk about how much they love pineapple pizza
The super-strength to hold a 20 lb bag of flour, but only if you promise to use it for baking

Read the fine print before signing up for this amazing opportunity.

Side Effects May Include:

Uncontrollable urge to save the world, but only on Tuesdays

Spontaneous combustion of your wallet

Temporary loss of ability to watch cat videos without feeling a pang of guilt