Ingredients:
We use a proprietary blend of:
- 99.9% pure, Grade-A, imported-from-a-remote-island-in-the-Pacific Ocean water.
- Creamy, locally-sourced, artisanal, gluten-free, non-GMO, vegan, soy-free mayonnaise.
Note: Side effects may include, but are not limited to: increased urination, temporary euphoria, sudden and unexplained singing of show tunes.
Side Effects: The Good, the Bad, and the Hairy:
Due to our unique, patented formula, you may experience:
- Uncontrollable urges to dance in public.
- Temporary blindness to your financial woes.
- Increased likelihood of spontaneous human combustion (in extreme cases, up to 0.0001% chance).
Don't worry, it's just the elixir's way of telling you to live your best life!
Testimonials:
"I took the Antibiotic Elixir and now I can finally sing 'I Will Survive' in perfect harmony with the entire cast of 'The Sound of Music'!" - Karen P.
"I'm not saying it's a miracle cure, but my aunt's cousin's husband took it and now his mustache is perfectly symmetrical." - Dave M.