Learn the art of mind control by first infiltrating your own subconscious. Start by eating an entire jar of wasabi while staring at a picture of a cat. This will help you achieve a state of pure, unadulterated focus.
Continue to Level 1: Subconscious Infiltration
Master the art of sending telepathic transmissions by practicing the ancient art of 'chartInstance'. This involves writing 1000 prophets in your head, then immediately forgetting them. Repeat this process until you achieve telepathic clarity.
Continue to Level 2: Telepathic Transmissions
Use the power of cognitive dissonance to manipulate the thoughts and feelings of those around you. Simply repeat 'I'm a functioning member of society' in a monotone voice while staring at a mirror, and watch as those around you begin to question their own sanity.
Continue to Level 3: Cognitive Dissonance Manipulation
Remember, practice makes perfect. Don't forget to wear your tin foil hat while engaging in these activities.