Return Policy: Because Returns are for the Brave

If you're not satisfied with your purchase, don't worry! You can return it for a full refund. But don't expect us to send you a pony.

Eligible Items:

Most items are eligible for return, except:

• Socks with holes
• T-Shirts with mysterious stains
• Anything that's been worn on a Tuesday

Return Process:

1. Contact us via carrier pigeon

2. We'll send you a return label

3. Return the item and get a full refund

Exceptions:

We reserve the right to refuse any return that's too much trouble

Learn about our return policy exceptions here

Or, you know, don't bother. We'll just send you a strongly-worded letter

Satirical Returns: Because Who Needs Real Returns, Anyway?