Budgeting for Dummies: A Guide to Not Losing All Your Money

Step 1: Count your pennies. Literally, count them. In fact, count them until you're sick of counting.

Step 2: Make a budget. But let's be real, who needs a budget? Just pretend you're on top of it, and hope for the best.

• Track your expenses. But only if you can afford it.
• Investing for Pros: Because you're not one of those pros, are you?
• Ask a real accountant. But only if you have a good insurance policy to cover your embarrassment.