Reasonable Person Regulations

A Guide to Not Being a Menace

According to the Department of Red Tape, a reasonable person is someone who:

• Does not wear pajamas to the office.
• Does not eat an entire pizza by themselves in one sitting.
• Can hold a conversation without using the word "troll" more than twice.
• Does not leave their toilet seat up.
• Can recite the entire script of 'The Big Lebowski' from memory.

Section 3, Subsection A, Paragraph 7:

Any person found to be in violation of these regulations will be subject to a series of increasingly absurd fines and penalties, including but not limited to:

• $100 for each instance of wearing pajamas to the office.
• $500 for each pizza consumed solo in a single sitting.
• $1,000 for each use of the word "troll" in a single conversation.
• $2,000 for each toilet seat left up.

For more information on these regulations, visit our sister site:

Appendix B: The History of Reasonable Persons

Subsection C: The prophets of Reasonable Personhood

Section 5: The Reasonable Person's Guide to Extreme Ironing