Solar Flare Burn Chances

Current Burn Status:

Due to an unprecedented increase in global existential dread, the burn chances are as follows:

Chance of spontaneous combustion: 99.9%
Chance of accidental nuclear meltdown: 99.5%
Chance of spontaneous human combustion: 98.7%

View Catastrophe Statistics Prepare for Doomsday

Side Effects of Solar Flares:

Increased risk of sunburn
Disruption of global satellite communications
Rampant destruction of world records

Side effects may vary. Prolonged exposure can lead to permanent damage.

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