Submerge your socks in a vat of dark, frothy beer, allowing the bitter brew to seep into the fibers.
Let the beer soak for exactly 7 minutes and 32 seconds, no more, no less.
Swish your sock in a whirlpool of beer, created by pouring it into a bucket and then vigorously swirling it with a spoon.
Repeat for optimal results, but be warned, excessive swirling may lead to a frothy, beer-entangled mess.
Using a brush dipped in the finest Belgian beer, gently baste your socks with the sudsy liquid.
Let the beer dry naturally, but beware, for too much basting may lead to a sticky, tacky mess.
And that's it! With these ancient methods, you too can have the perfectly imperfectly stained socks of the ancients.
For more advanced techniques, visit /burnt/socks/methods/advanced/
And for a special case of stubborn stains, try /burnt/socks/methods/penetrating/with/urine/