A team of highly trained, highly caffeinated individuals with a penchant for... well, you know.
Meet our fearless leader, Bob, the mastermind behind our string of... unfortunate events.
Our resident tech expert, Alice, keeps our cables connected, even if they don't want to be.
Our team's newest member, Jack, brings a new level of... enthusiasm to the table. We're not sure what that means, but it's a thing.
We use a variety of methods to... dispatch our victims. These include, but are not limited to:
We're proud to say that we've executed a whopping 5 victims in the past year, with a success rate of 100% (we're not bragging or anything).
Our average response time is under 5 seconds, thanks to our team's lightning-fast reflexes.
Want to join the Cables Serial Killers? It's a tough job, but someone's gotta do it. Apply now!