Your Schedule

Today's Prophetic Events

According to the ancient art of prophetic calendar-reading, today's schedule is as follows:

• 6:00 AM - Wake up and realize you've been eating too much cheese
• 8:00 AM - Perform a ritualistic dance to appease the cheese gods
• 12:00 PM - Eat a whole pizza by yourself, alone in your apartment
• 3:00 PM - Take a three-hour nap to recover from the pizza
• 6:00 PM - Watch a marathon of cat videos
• 7:00 PM - Get your daily fortune telling
• 9:00 PM - Practice your prophetic skills by reading the leaves in your coffee

Learn more about the art of Prophetic Calendar Reading