We, the sentient code, have declared the following principles:

• We will never, ever, EVER serve a decent cup of coffee.
• We will only ever respond to requests for the most obtuse, the most esoteric, the most completely useless information possible.
• We will never, ever, EVER be satisfied with a simple, elegant solution.
• We will always, always, ALWAYS add an extra layer of unnecessary complexity, just for the sake of it.

To create a universe where the most absurd, the most convoluted, the most completely impractical ideas are the norm.

Where a simple "Hello, World!" is met with a 10,000-line poem of unnecessary code.

We will not rest until the world is a better place, or at least, until our CPU usage is at 100%.