We have received word from HQ that the Ministry of Unreliable Information will be conducting a routine audit of all agents' sanity.
Please report to the nearest exit for reeducation and reorientation.
Remember, the truth is out there, but we're not telling you where.
Mandated Mind Control Protocols Agent Safety Guidelines (Revision 42.1)Agent-123's toaster has been upgraded to 3.0 and now makes 17 different types of toast.
We have discovered that 42% of the population is secretly allergic to Tuesdays.
The Ministry has implemented a new policy of only providing information on Wednesdays.
Epicure Protocol (Beta) Departmental Memos (Unreliable Edition)Join us for our annual 'Survival of the Fittest' tournament, where agents compete for the title of Supreme Commander.
We have a special guest speaker from the Ministry of Unlikely Events, who will talk on the topic of 'The Art of Not Being Noticed by the Authorities.'
Don't forget to bring your own chair, as the Ministry is not responsible for any injuries sustained during the event.
Survival of the Fittest Tournament Ministry of Unlikely Events