Our Guarantee

We promise to deliver your messages with ninja-like speed, unless you ask us to slow down for comedic effect. In that case, we'll make sure to drag our feet like a 1990s dad trying to get to the couch.

But don't just take our word for it! Check out our Testimonials page to see what other satisfied customers have to say about our lightning-fast message delivery.

And if you're not satisfied with our service, we'll give you a full refund, minus the cost of the ninja's cat's therapy sessions.

Or, you know, we'll just make up some fake reasons why you're not eligible for a refund. Either way, you'll be happy!