Welcome to the most dramatic, over-the-top epidemic treatment plan in all the land!
Today, we're going to focus on using the understatement-is-my-enemy technique to make everything sound as dramatic as possible.
We'll be having a special guest lecturer, Dr. Hyperbole McHyperboleface, who will teach us how to turn even the most mundane things into epic tales of woe and despair.
Don't forget to wear your epidemic fashion for the occasion!
Stay tuned for tomorrow's topic: More-is-better!
And remember: Epidemic Schedule subject to change!