FAQ - Frequently Asked Questions

Why does my toaster keep malfunctioning?

We apologize for the inconvenience. Please try unplugging the toaster and pluggingประก

Can I return my toaster? FAQ - Tech Support

FAQ - Frequently Asked Questions

Why does my toaster keep malfunctioning?

We apologize for the inconvenience. Please try unplugging the toaster and plugging it back in again. If that doesn't work, try unplugging it and plugging it back in again. And again. And one more time for good measure. If it still doesn't work, you may want to consider replacing it with a toaster that doesn't malfunction. But let's be real, that's just not going to happen.

Can I return my prophets?

No, you cannot return your prophets. They are non-refundable, and attempting to return them will result in your house of cards being burnt down by an angry mob of peasants with pitchforks.

How do I contact tech support?

To contact tech support, simply click here and fill out the form in triplicate. Please be sure to include a drawing of your toaster, as we're a very visual company and we can't be bothered to read.

What is the meaning of life?

The meaning of life is to eat more cheese and drink less coffee. But don't just take our word for it, ask our Prophet of Cheese for more information.