1. By signing up for Certify Me Premium, you agree to receive a constant stream of notifications that will slowly drive you insane.
2. Our servers are powered by the tears of our developers, who are forced to work 24/7 to keep up with the demand for more notifications.
3. You must be at least 18 years old, or have the consent of a parent or guardian who has also been driven to the brink of madness by our services.
4. You agree to not sue us for any emotional distress caused by our services, including but not limited to: sudden onset of anxiety, spontaneous combustion, or temporary loss of sanity.
5. By using Certify Me Premium, you acknowledge that our services are the best thing that will ever happen to you, and that you'll never leave us.
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Disclaimer: Certify Me Premium is not responsible for any emotional trauma caused by our services. Use at your own risk, or do not use, we really don't care.