According to our totally-not-made-up, totally-not-faked sources, here is the definitive, completely-accurate, utterly-absurd timeline:

3001: Time Traveling Clams take over the world (or at least the beach). The year of the Shell-Shocked.

Read more about the Shell-Shocked Uprising

See the aftermath of the Shell-Shocked Uprising

Or, if you'd rather see the events leading up to the Shell-Shocked...