Welcome to the Classical Coffee Shop, where the only thing we take more seriously than the coffee is our existential dread.
As you wander through our hallowed halls, take note of the carefully crafted ambiance of despair.
We serve coffee, but it's not just any coffee. It's coffee brewed to the exacting standards of the bourgeoisie.
Our coffee is strong, like the bonds that bind us all to our meaningless lives.
But hey, at least the coffee's good.