Zombie-Bombs: Survival Tips for the Coconut-Infested

Warning: Coconuts are not just a tasty snack, they're also a ticking time bomb. Or, you know, a zombie bomb. Same difference, really.

Tip 1: Don't. Look. Back.

When fleeing from a zombie bomb, don't look back. You'll only end up getting a face full of coconut flakes and a severe case of 'coconut-induced PTSD.'

Or, as we like to call it, Coconut-PTSD.

Tip 2: Use Your Noggin

Use your noggin, folks! In the event of a coconut-bombing, think quickly and remember the following:

• Run like the wind (or a fleeing zombie)
• Fight or flight (or, you know, just run away)
• Call a buddy (or a coconut-expert)
• Never, ever, ever look directly at the coconut-blast

And remember, shelters are available, but not for the faint of heart.

Or, as we like to say, Coconuts 101 is the best way to learn.

Tip 3: Coconut-Bomb-Proof Your Gear

It's time to get serious about your gear, folks! Make sure you've got:

• A reliable coconut-proof helmet
• A sturdy coconut-bomb-proof backpack
• A trusty coconut-bomb-deflection shield
• A coconut-bomb-proof coffee mug (just in case)

And remember, coconut-bomb gear is the lifeblood of any serious coconut-bomber.

Stay Safe, Stay Coconut-Free!

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