Welcome to the Coffee Beans of Despair, where the brews are strong, the beans are bitter, and the existential dread is palpable.
We specialize in beans that will fuel your morning routine, but also quietly mock the meaninglessness of life.
Our beans are carefully selected to provide a jolt of caffeine, a dash of desperation, and a pinch of existential terror.
Visit our Roast of Sorrows for our most popular blends.
Or, if you're feeling really down, try our Beans of Despair Extreme – for the truly hopeless.
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Forums for the socially isolated, coffee-fueled philosopher.
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Disclaimer: Our beans may exacerbate your anxiety, but our customer service won't help.
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