The Coffee Breakdown Manifesto: A Guide to Properly Wasting Your Day

In a world where productivity is overrated, we present to you the ultimate guide on how to break down your day into the perfect amount of coffee-fueled procrastination.

Step 1: Wake Up, Get Dressed, Realize You're Still in Pajamas

The most important step in the breakdown process. Take your time, enjoy the view from your bedroom window, and remember: it's not a lie if you say you're just "testing" your bed.

Continue to Step 2: Scroll Through Social Media and Regret Your Life Choices

Step 2: Scroll Through Social Media and Regret Your Life Choices

A necessary evil. Compare your life to others', and wonder why you're not as successful or popular. Remember, it's not you, it's just social media's algorithmic lie.

Continue to Step 3: Watch Cat Videos and Forget About Your Existential Crisis

Step 3: Watch Cat Videos and Forget About Your Existential Crisis

The ultimate form of procrastination. Who needs self-improvement when you have cute, fuzzy, forgettable things to watch?

Read on to learn how to make it a habit