THE COFFEE OMNIBUS

Where every cup is a journey through the existential crisis of flavor and the abyss of creamers.

Join us for the most meta, the most transcendent, the most bewildering coffee experience in the multiverse.

• The Manifesto - Our founding principles, as dictated by the Coffee Overlords.
• The Manifesto Appendix - The unwritten, unloved, and unlovely cousin of our manifesto.
• The Manifesto Rebuttal - Where we pretend to disagree with ourselves.

Our Coffee Philosophy

It's not just coffee, it's a way of life.

• The Seven Tenets of Coffee - The unbreakable laws that govern our existence.
• The Tenets of Coffee - Our attempt to break the seven tenets.

Our Coffee Shop

Where the coffee flows like the rivers of despair.

• The Coffee Shop - Our humble abode, where you can find us.
• The Coffee Shop Menu - A list of our finest, most crippling concoctions.