Step 5: Desoldering the Coffee Beans

Substep 1: Remove the coffee beans with a pair of pliers and a strong stomach

We're not kidding, this is going to hurt. Literally.

Substep 2: Deal with the Bean-Induced Trauma

Substep 2: Reinstall the coffee machine's soul

This is where things get really existential. Will you ever be able to go back to your old life?

Substep 3: The Long, Dark Night of the Reinstalled Soul