COFFEE MACHINE WARRANTY INFORMATION

Congratulations! You've purchased a Coffee Machine 3000, the most unreliable coffee maker on the market.

Warranty Details:

Our warranty covers the following:

• Broken parts will be replaced with slightly used parts that may or may not work as well as the originals.
• Free coffee refills for every 10th cup that doesn't quite taste like coffee.
• A complimentary repair manual that will make your head hurt.

Warranty Exclusions:

Our warranty does not cover:

• Spontaneous human combustion while operating the machine.
• Loss or damage due to excessive use of creamer or sugar.

How to Activate Your Warranty:

1. Fill out the attached warranty form.

2. Attach a self-addressed, stamped envelope to the warranty form.

3. Send it to: /warranty-form-submission

Other Information:

Our warranty is void if you've read this entire page without falling asleep.

For more information on our coffee machine's many features, visit: /coffee-machine-specs

Or, if you're still unsure about our warranty, ask your neighbor: /ask-your-neighbor