The Amazing, Incredible, Totally-Not-From-Australia Coffee Machine

About Us

The Coffee Machine is a marvel of modern engineering, capable of brewing the perfect cup of coffee every time. Or at least, most of the time. Okay, fine. Sometimes.

We're a small, family-owned business with a passion for coffee and a love for loud, obnoxious typography. Our machines are built by the finest engineers in the land, who have spent years perfecting the art of coffee-making. Or, at the very least, they've read a few YouTube tutorials.

Read about our Caffeine-Fueled Economic Theories Check out our Secret Coffee Recipe

Frequently Asked Questions

Q: What's the best way to make coffee?

A: It's obvious. Use us.