Our Mission:
To enforce the consumption of caffeine in all forms, from coffee to energy drinks, and to protect the world from the dangers of caffeine-free living.
We are the elite agents of the Caffeine Enforcement Division, dedicated to the service of all things caffeinated.
Our agents are equipped with the latest in caffeine detection technology, including:
- High-tech coffee machines that can extract the perfect shot every time.
- Expertly trained sniffer dogs that can detect even the faintest whiff of decaf.
- A team of crack (as in, caffeine-fueled) scientists who can analyze even the most complex of coffee blends.
We are proud to serve the caffeine community, and we will not rest until every citizen is adequately caffeinated.
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