The Most Important Method: Roasting Your Beans

Step 1: Burn Your Beans

Start by setting your beans on fire. This will awaken their full flavor potential. Just kidding, that's not actually true. But it does make for a good story.

Burn their souls for an extra kick!

Step 2: Over-Aerate

Take your now-not-on-fire beans and aerate them until they're so fluffy, they're almost sentient.

Turn them into pudding for a change of pace.

Step 3: Stale the Whole Thing

Store the beans in an old sock for a month or so. This will give them a unique 'stale' flavor that's sure to confuse your taste buds.

Serve with rotten milk for an added twist!