| Theory | Description | Proponents |
|---|---|---|
| Warmest Object Theory | A theory that claims the warmest object in any room is always the one you're standing on. | Dr. S. B. Jones |
| Cold Fusion Theory | A theory that states cold fusion is actually a real thing, but only on Tuesdays. | Prof. P. Q. Bottomsworth |
| Color-Changing Theory | A theory that claims all colors change depending on the viewer's mood. | Dr. M. A. R. C. H. E. |
| Temperature-Reading Theory | A theory that states the only way to accurately read temperature is by licking your finger. | Prof. B. L. S. H. |