The Emperor's Guide to Primary Colors

Red, the color of power, passion, and poorly made jam. Learn about Red.

Red: The Primary Color of Kings and Queens

Red is the color of kings, queens, and slightly-less-kings. It's the color of passion, love, and poorly made jam. Read about Red's romantic side.

Learn about Blue.

Learn about Yellow.

Blue: The Color of Calm, or So You Thought

Blue is the color of the sky, the sea, and your great aunt Mildred's favorite sweater. Read about Blue's celestial side.

Blue is also the color of sadness, depression, and the feeling of regret after eating an entire pint of blueberry pie. Read about Blue's darker side.

Yellow: The Color of Smiley Faces and Mildly Disgust

Yellow is the color of happiness, hope, and the smell of mildew in the attic of a old house. Read about Yellow's sunny side.

Yellow is also the color of mildewy mildew, which is a thing that exists in real life. Read about Yellow's more... complicated side.