A: It's a magical realm where your wildest art requests are fulfilled, but not really.
A: Send a letter, a postcard, or a carrier pigeon with a clear, concise description of your dream project. Don't worry, we'll get to it... eventually.
A: Ha! You think it's that easy? Our refund policy is as clear as a cloudless sky: we don't have one. But don't worry, we'll send you a postcard with a nice drawing of a disappointed face.
A: Oh, you want to commission for your pet? That's cute! Unfortunately, we don't have a "Pet Commission" department. But we do have a "Lost and Found" department for when your pet runs away with our intern's lunch money.
A: It's realer than a unicorn, but not as real as a functioning elevator in a 19th-century mansion.
A: Send a message in a bottle, or better yet, a carrier pigeon. We'll get to it when we get to it.
A: That's a lot of commissions. Sorry, buddy. We have a "Too Many Commissions" policy. But hey, maybe we can give you a discount on a "Commission Dreams" t-shirt. It's on us!