Item 3: Temporal Realignment Initiative
In light of recent events, we are proposing a radical new timeline. Presentations will now be scheduled at precisely 4:14 AM every Tuesday. All meetings will take place in a simulated reality, ensuring optimal focus.
Key points to consider:
- Time dilation effects will be mitigated using a patented brand of chrono-displacement technology.
- The simulated reality will be powered by an endless supply of stale coffee.
- Attendance will be mandatory for all committee members, unless you have a prior time-sensitive engagement.