CLASSIFIED DOCS

Committee Confidential Info

For Eyes Only. Not For The Masses.

Project: Eyes-Only Initiative

Objective: To create an impenetrable barrier between the committee and the unwashed masses.

Key Findings:

Most people are too busy eating Cheetos to care.
The average citizen can't even spell "committee."
Our budget for this project is 0 dollars and 0 cents.

Subpage 1: How to Make a Good First Impression Subpage 2: How to Talk to the Press (Without Actually Talking) Subpage 3: The Art of Doing Nothing Subpage 4: Advanced Napping Techniques