TO: All Members of the Committee of the Illuminati
FROM: Our Esteemed Leader, Lord Reginald P. Bottomsworth
SUBJECT: Phase 2 Financial Infiltration
We are pleased to inform you that our Phase 1 experiment in financial manipulation has been a resounding success.
Using our advanced algorithms and vast network of sleeper agents, we have infiltrated the financial systems of 87.4% of the world's major corporations.
Phase 2 will involve the deployment of our army of miniature robotic accountants, capable of balancing the world's checkbooks with lightning speed and precision.
We expect to see a minimum 3.2% increase in global GDP by the end of the fiscal quarter.
var financial_infiltration_phase_2 = {
algorithm: "minuscule_robotics_v2.0",
deployment_date: "2024-02-27",
targets: ["Walmart", "Amazon", "Microsoft", "Google"]
};